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They Will Fall
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Bloodguilt
…but it's a troublesome thought trying to reconcile the
differences between my actions and what I claim to believe. (between my actions
and what I believe)
I can't seem to escape the fear of never being good enough. My vices only weigh me down, like an anchor fixed deep in hell. I've traversed the wastelands that judgment brings. I was born with blood on my head, and I've been drowning in it ever since.
Some would call it spoiled conviction, but all I know is that I'm depressed, a
victim of self-defeat with a lot of regret.
It's not as easy as it seemed once before to simply maintain my innocence.
This
familiar misery, overwhelmed by catastrophe, has left no place for peace.
No relief,
no reprieve, no release, no comfort can console me now, a reminder that I'm
lost and abandoned. Was I forgotten about?
I'm sick of
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unanswered questions.
I've grown exhausted from repetitious failure.
Will I always lack the discipline to guard myself and withstand temptation?
Guilty
conscience, strip me bare. I'll beat myself up until there isn't a will to live
righteously. Repentance is absent because I'm too busy letting the devil get
the best of me.
So I welcomed
a heavy heart from the burden of the sins I never thought You forgave;
Misunderstanding
caused a fear of mistakes.
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